For about a decade, I’ve struggled with an inability to focus on things I’m not interested in, and an inability to remember things associated with that subject. Ask anyone at Liquid Web, or Mike Neir, about how many stupid computer-related questions I have asked over and over again. The information does not stick, and sometimes, it doesn’t even make sense to me.
For subjects that do interest me, I usually have very high retention. It’s just the uninteresting stuff that slides off my brain. I use the phrase “slides off” because that’s exactly what it feels like – the information does not penetrate the tissue. I hear it come in, and I immediately feel it sliding away.
I have been blaming this on two things – lack of discipline to force myself to learn something I lack interest in, and the medications I take for Restless Leg Syndrome.
As the gluten poisoning slowly seeps from my body, I find myself better able to focus – even on computer-related things. This is pretty exciting news. Maybe I’m not getting stupider and ADHD-ier in my middle age; maybe the inflammation of my body (and other associated side effects) from having something toxic to me in my system was impairing my ability to think and remember.
Barbara told me a lot of things would improve as I come out of this mess, and she’s right – per usual. 🙂
I’m able to focus more when I read, feel less generalized anxiety and stress, and am more able to let nuisances go. Yoga helps with this, too. My body is gradually learning that what it feels like to relax in everyday moments.
It’s a damn good thing I’m getting into a little better physical and mental shape now, too, as being with Mom full-time looms in less than a month.
She is so demanding even now, I know it’s going to be a trial. She does not wish to be inconvenienced by this injury in the slightest – she gets very upset by, for example, not having any eggs and not being able to go to the store to get them herself. Last week, I told her I would bring her eggs this weekend, five days hence at that point.
This was not acceptable. It ended up with Mike taking her two dozen on his way into work because she had worked herself into a completely lathered state over… eggs.
I’ve not yet ordered the seeds for this year’s garden – I need to get on that ball, and soon. The house is in complete shambles, and I’m looking forward to having time to clean it up after I am finished with work. My last day at the library will be February 14.
It sounds pretty far distant at this point, because there is so much Mom needs to have me do for her, but I know the time will pass quickly.
And now – to work for the day. Stay warm, internet denizens. It is 11 degrees here, and dropped down to 3 overnight.