Very High Levels of What, Now?

First, please accept my apologies for the months of blog neglect.

I hope the following story will help make up for it.

The company I work for is filled with brilliant, clever, amazing, witty and extremely funny people. The banter in our Jabber conversations usually has me laughing out loud throughout the day, and it makes things much more pleasant to be surrounded by awesomeness.

In my new(ish) position on the monitoring team, I’m fairly well isolated in Data Center 1. There are only three of us there during the day, and things are usually pretty quiet. Sundays, however, I work in our brand stinkin’ new Data Center 3, a 90,000-square-foot horking huge building housing a bunch more people – except on Sundays, when there are usually only three or four of us spread out across the space. I like my solitude, though; I’m an only child. Quiet is good.

At 3pm yesterday, MattAdor, a senior monitoring technician, arrived to train a newbie, thusly ending my isolation.

But I like MattAdor.

As a plus, he ended my isolation with a flourish, however, first having a car that wouldn’t shut off properly, and second by regaling both the noob and me with a short, hilarious story.

“Hey Erin. Did you ever hear about the server with the very high levels of [excised]?”

“Lol, no?”

“Ok, so get this. Back when I was still in support, we got a ticket that started out, ‘I’m having problems with my [effing] server.’ The tech who had the ticket asked him what was up, and the customer finally responded that his server had ‘very high levels of Claude.'”

I completely lost it at that point, bashing my head on the desk as I doubled in two, laughing and snorting out loud uncontrollably.

Finally, I choked out, “…Claude?”

“Seriously. How do you even check for high levels of Claude? So the tech creates the file /etc/vandamme and puts ‘Claude=1’ in there to make sure the Claude level stayed low.”

I can’t remember what else he said, and it’s lost a bit in the telling because I was so busy laughing, I’ve forgotten the finer details.

I’m sorry if no one here finds that hysterical. It’s still making me giggle right now.

Our customers really come up with priceless gems from time to time, from the guy who accused the company of “trying to Detroit his biz” to the guy who managed to get a translation website to throw in the word “watusi” completely out of context.

That’s all for now – I hope you are all well.

Homestead Geek gets updated a bit here and there, if you’re interested in what else has been going on (Chickens! Kombucha!)

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2 responses to Very High Levels of What, Now?


  1. Sam

    Hi, Erin, welcome back, I hope you’re feeling better. Did you see my April 3 post On Writing? email me if you’re interested in some books. Love your stuff on gluten and chemicals, made me question my fibro and stupidity and incredible fatigue.

    • Erin

      Hi Sam – I did see your comment, and I’m sorry I haven’t replied until now. It’s absolutely crazy, but sitting down and doing things like email, blog posts and responding to comments takes a lot of energy right now for some reason. Your comments deserved better attention, and I’m sorry. DO question your fibro! Have you ever had allergy or chemical sensitivity tests done?

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