I never did go back and finish that story, because I got swept up into the flow of the The Big Love Stream and all the goofy, wanton happiness that comes with the stages of a new relationship.
Now that we’ve been together awhile, we’re finding The Working part of the relationship – when the new giddiness wears off a bit and the nuts and bolts of the thing become a little more important. The wild intoxication of New Romance doesn’t carry most of us through the years, right? My eternal romantic sometimes butts heads with my eternal pragmatist, but ultimately, they do want the same things.
So we’re working, and it’s awesome Mike is willing to work with me. So much about him is awesome and amazing and I am incredibly lucky to have found him (and by “found,” I mean “blind-sided, hog-tied and dragged back to my cave.”) He puts up with my shenanigans quite amicably and when faced with stuff I’d like to see differently, he’s giving it his best. Not everyone would do that.
Thus, amidst the disgruntlement and frustration, I’m taking the time to remember a few perfect little moments in our story together, and why I love him so much:
- The Sacrament of the Forehead Kiss. This is something we’ve done from the beginning. After giving me a kiss on the lips, Mike then gives me a kiss on the forehead, with just as much tenderness.
- The 40-Year-Old Virgin Conversation. A month or so after we started dating, I thought it was all falling to pieces and that Mike Just Wasn’t Into Me. This impression was somewhat bolstered by Mike agreeing that I was way more into him than he was into me. Needless to say, I was fairly devastated. He managed to turn that conversation around completely, though, and even though it was after midnight, brought over “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” DVD for us to watch, as I’d never seen it. The end result was feeling closer to him than I had previously, and understanding his perspective more deeply.
- The first time we saw Opeth together, we stood in the crowd a dozen or so rows back from the stage and cuddled as best we could standing up. Opeth is a Swedish death/progressive metal band – not the usual place to find couples all canoodled up together. But as the surprisingly elegant strains of the music washed over us, and the stage lights changed color, Mike Neir wrapped me up in his arms and swayed back and forth, and all was right with the world. Sometimes, we had to dodge the mosh pit, but that was fun, too. (And I noted at that time, as I approach 40, the mosh pit is a nice place to watch, but not so much with the participating anymore.)
- Sitting on the deck in the back yard of what was soon to become Our House. The previous owners had already moved out, but the closing hadn’t occured yet – it felt a little bit trespassy to be there, but it was a gorgeous, warm sunny summer day, and as we sat and looked out over the back yard, it dawned on me that this was Real. These were life-forming plans we were making. My heart swelled with hope, anticipation, excitement and love. We held hands and continued gazing out at the yard for a bit. A short while later, all the documents were signed and we moved in to begin our real lives together.
There are, of course, countless others, and in the big picture, I know everything is going to work out just fine. Because we’ve got the love part down pat.
All my future plans include that Mike Neir, dumbass though he may occasionally be, and many of my hopes and dreams hinge on his being present. That’s not something I set up lightly – impulsive as I am, I am hesitant to stake my future on someone else’s participation.
Mike has helped me to willingly surrender those stubborn fears of abandonment… or at least push them off to the side, most of the time. They do rear their ugly, fetid heads from time to time.
So, for helping to carry my baggage, for loving me and being with me, Happy Valentine’s Day, Mike Neir.