Reports from the Geek/Nerd Front

Gardener's Supply Company - Deal of the Week

My poor, poor liver. It’s really taking one for the team today. And not in a crazy-go-wild, drink-your-pants-off way, either.

In a desperate attempt to pacify the migraine that cropped up again last night, I’ve been dosing myself with Sudafed, ibuprofen, acetominophen, Afrin, hot tea, luke-warm water and steam, then lathering, rinsing and repeating.

It’s imperative I kick this thing in the next hour and a half, because here’s the thing – our company Christmas party is tonight. We are a company of both computer geeks and computer nerds. The geek subspecies is a slightly hipper and more social creature than the nerd. Some geeks can get fairly wild and raucous when free alcohol and groups of people are involved. They are more like Normal Humans. Then we have the nerd subspecies – the variety I usually fall into – who is quieter, more socially awkward, and prone to standing at the sides of the room blinking a lot. If a nerd allows him- or herself to get Just A Bit Too Drunk… bad things can happen. Sometimes, the drunken nerds try to pass themselves off as geeks, and sadly, that doesn’t usually work out terribly well.

Point being, the party is likely to be pretty loud and non-migraine-friendly.

Our company puts on quite a nice affair for Christmas; the owners rent out A Fine Local Establishment, have it catered properly and the bar is our oyster. They even provide limos for those who decide to drink more than a few. Some folks get dressed to the nines, others come in t-shirts, and it all works out just fine. Some get… a little of control. Our geeks and nerds tend to get along pretty well together. Many geeks realize they’re just one Significant Childhood Trauma away from nerddom, and nerds generally push aside any jealousy they may have of the geeks’ abilities to, y’know, socialize easily.

Last year, however, there was an incident in which a drunken nerd was wildly humping a geek’s leg to the point of knocking the geek to the ground. The geek punched the nerd in the groin and that was the end of it. At the annual boat party in late summer, a few folks were so inebriated as to inadvertently urinate on their co-workers who were trying to escort them to the limo.

I reckon we’re like any other group of people, when it comes right down to it. We have our wallflowers (hello!) and we have our Gets Along With Everyone Easily people. I guess I sort of fall in the middle, really, depending upon circumstances.

While I would love to get all gussied up and go out in the gently-falling snow in some sort of Actual Dress, I do believe I’ll just cobble something together that looks halfway decent and hope I can apply eyeliner in a reasonable fashion. I’ll get out of my jammies, at the very least. Poor Mike Neir, not having an awesome, hot girlfriend, one who isn’t riddled with things like migraines and Restless Leg Syndrome and an occasionally overpowering feeling of ennui.

And now, for more drugs.

I wonder if I could smuggle in earplugs…

[EDIT: The party was quite nice, and the headache actually toned down a lot on the drive over. In a bit of irony, the leg-humpee was perhaps the most drunk when we left early, around 9:30p. He was listing pretty heavily to starboard, making frequent trips to the loo and having a fair bit of trouble with The English. The leg-humper is no longer with the company. 😉 The food was tasty, the venue quite elegant and it was fun to see people outside our usual environment.]

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